Ladies and Gentlemen, your 2006 Seattle Mariners

To the tune of "Wild Wild West" by the Escape Club
New lyrics by Deanna "Marinerd" Rubin

Forty men with big dreams playing on the same team
Morse, Reed, Meche, Dobbs, all with the same jobs
Kenji's in the dugout waiting for the third out
Carl's up at home plate, driving people crazy

Diss my team, but I don't care
I love the teal in the shirts they wear
Down at the field that we love best,
Starting with the Angels
Playing in the AL West
The AL West

Richie is a big chump, Beltre's in the same slump,
Sherrill's got the left waves, Putz's getting big saves
Ninety-seven strikeouts Felix has so far
Got to vote 'em in, vote 'em in,
Jose's on the All-Star

Diss my team, but I don't care
I love these guys when they're on a tear
Games with the league that we love best
Sweeping out the Giants,
Beating up the NL West
The NL West

Now put your trades on the line and send your players down
You can call 'em up, call 'em up, waive 'em out of town
Ed to the Red, Choo to the Tribe
I don't care since we get to see Doyle tonight

Diss my team, but I don't care
Of how they suck, I am quite aware
Watching this streak has me depressed
Heading back to Oakland
Losing to the AL West
The AL West

Heading out to center, Ichiro's the mentor
Watching Willie Boom-Boom, striking out like Bret Boone
Give me give me Mark Lowe
Give me give me Fruto
Give me Jones, give me Green
Give me time to vent my spleen

This team sucks, and I don't care
I've lost all hope from this bad, bad year
They traded the guys that we liked best
I'm moving back to Philly,
Fed up with the AL West
The AL West